Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap...
Every sink Scott Colby looked in this morning was full of crud. The bathroom sink was full of unused toothpaste. The kitchen sink was full of Happy Fucking Pancake Day. IT WAS SPREADING.
Nostradamus predicted this day. "Sown by the man in pink, the gunk shall arise from the basins of porcelain and stainless steel like sores on a leper, and when you get on he'll leave your ass for a white girl."
That doesn't seem too bad, until one realizes there isn't a white man alive who can compete with a man of any other ethnicity for the attention of a white girl. This would hamper Scott Colby's gold digging quite a bit. When's the last time the record companies manufactured a naive pop princess who wasn't from Britain or the midwest or the south? Exactly. Luckily, he recognized the danger and cobbled together an Anti-Gunk Containment System using the Best Toaster Ever and several glow in the dark condoms.
Unfortunately, he didn't have time to properly charge the condoms. They could expire any moment now, allowing the plague to infect other nearby sinks...and then...the world. Scott Colby has already locked both Kelly Clarkson and Natasha Bedingfield in the bunker in his backyard.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Tony Long, copy chief at Wired News, once killed a man using a paragraph written with nothing but adverbs and semicolons.
GO FUCK YOURSELF
Post a Comment