Monday, January 29, 2007

I may have discovered the most annoying thing ever

Whitening strips.

Within a minute of putting these things on, I was drooling like a dog. Or like dumbass who likes buffalo women scoping the bar at the Foggy Goggle (ah, how I missed making dumb jokes about that shithole).

I seriously need a god damn spittoon.

At approximately the ten minute mark, I lost the bottom strip. And I have no idea where the fuck it went. I suspect if I poop tomorrow it will come out shimmering white.

I really can't believe you're supposed to do this twice a day for half an hour each time. It feels like there's a frigging Trojan stuck in my teeth and all I can taste is after shave (now I know how a buffalo chick feels when waking up after a successful night at the Foggy Goggle).

Enough of this, time's up.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would just like to dispute the fact that crest white strips feel like a condom stuck in your teeth; leftover mint flovaored lube, possibly, but not condoms.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, retard... thats what you get!