It's here! Has Scott Colby ever made a promise he couldn't keep? He gives you the first ever special celebrity guest to I Stole Your Lunch: the T!
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Heidy ho, your friendly neighborhood T here. Sorry I'm late. Oh, wait, no I'm not. I never am - why should I be this time?
So Scott Colby invited me to help spruce up his silly little Internet thingy here because he's lazy and he can't keep you idiots entertained all by himself. He assures me that the words I'm typing in this box will show up next time I click on my little blue e, but I'm not sure I believe him. This technology stuff gives me the willies.
What does the T have to weblog about? I thought I would start by giving you a play-by-play of my latest -
THE DESTINATION OF THIS TRAIN IS :
ASHMONT
Sorry, pardon my Tourett's. As I was saying, I won my latest chicken match against the BU frats. Some big dufus with a square head and a striped shirt was standing on my tracks, and he was all like "Give me your best shot bitch!" and I was all like "Oh noo joo diiii-iiiiinnnt!" and needless to say I am still undefeated. And then I took his girl home (keep your mind out of the gutter - I actually took her home. I'm a freakin train - but she had a nice caboose, if you know what I mean).
Anyways, now that the excitement is over with, there are a few important announcements I would like to make about my service to you.
1) Tokens are expensive. In an effort to cut my costs, cans of PBR and Natty Light are now accepted as fares.
2) Fares will now vary depending on a rider's weight. This is my gift of tough love to the obese community. You'd rather walk to work for free than spend $8 to get from Longwood to Boylston, now wouldn't you, you tubby bastard you! You will be svelt like my good friend Scott Colby in no time.
Well, that's it for now. Please remember to report any unattended packages. I pay my drivers with those things.
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Scott Colby promises that will never, ever happen again.
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