Um, no

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060705/ap_on_re_us/simpl_wurdz_1


Seriously. Do we want to be known as the nation that writes formal business communications and what we have that passes for literature as if we were chatting on instant messenger? Granted, we may be heading that way naturally, but these people are batshit crazy. Earth to douchebags: if you spent as much time helping your kids with their homework as you spend protesting spelling bees, maybe your illiterate offspring would be able to correctly scribble the word "vasectomy." If they intend to grow up to be like you, I highly suggest they invest in one at an early age - say twelve.

Just what are these dumbasses thinking? Look at it this way: "leekuj" doesn't have the same visceral charm as "leakage." "Hell" ("hel"), "fuck" ("fuk"), and "damn" ("dam") can no longer be considered four-letter words. These idiots are screwing with things that were never intended to be screwed with (like Brigitte Nielsen).

Next thing you know, they'll want to hose the comma because people don't know where to put it. They'll want to take the semicolon out behind the shed and shoot it because they can't understand why there isn't a period there. The colon will be relegated to eye duty in emoticons, and then they'll argue for those stupid things to become an accepted grammar construct. This way their kids will never miss a joke, a threat, or an instance of sexual harassment, as there'll be a little face there to emphasize the intent behind the sentence.

This is bullshit, and it needs to be stopped. Please join I Stole Your Lunch in spelling things correctly and using proper punctuation. It'll be our little "fuk u" to assholes who think the language is too difficult.

P.S. It would be extremely funny if someone pointed out a spelling mistake in this update. If you notice one, please do not hesitate to comment.

P.P.S. If you happen to be a funny looking MassArt guy, please refrain from making out with your fat, ugly girlfriend while on public transportation. The rest of us do not appreciate it. Thank you.