Luckily, Scott Colby is here to raise the overall quality of writing here on the Interweb, and he does it for free! And I'm not stopping at just ten items, because Scott Colby and never-ending bulleted lists go together like hooker boots and short skirts!
I now present to you Scott Colby's Big Honkin' List of Good Shit to Give People Who Like To Push Buttons Incessantly While Eating Lots of Doritos and Drinking Red Mountain Dew:
- A High Definition Back Hair Trimmer. If this list applies to someone you know, chances are pretty good he (face it, that ain't a she) probably has grooming issues. The HD sticker is just a trick to get your unkempt mouth breather to actually use the damn thing. Companion gift: A tarp to cover the bathroom floor.
- Pocket Protector with Eject Button. Geeks are lazy. This is the one and only pocket protector with a gas powered launcher controlled by a button on the side of a styling Tazmanian Devil digital watch. Push the button, and the geek's favorite writing utensil is shot out of his pocket so he can catch it on the way down. Companion gift: Safety goggles.
- A shiny new blog. You know, to get them away from MySpace. Companion gift: Remedial English classes at the local community college.
- A Bluetooth Toilet Flushing Remote. Again, dorkazoids are lazy, and they seem almost hypnotized by anything with a little blue light. Companion gift: 802.11g enabled plunger with scroll wheel (because you know they're going to drop the remote down the bowl eventually).
- KITT from Knight Rider. Companion gift: David Hasselhoff's hair. It still ain't good, but it'll most likely be an improvement.
- The Microsoft Zune. Using the Zune's wireless music sharing capabilities, everyone around your favorite geek can join in and laugh at his horrible music collection! Companion gift: A helmet of some sort, to offer at least a modicum of protection when some big tough biker dune catches your geek bobbing his head to "London Bridges."
3 comments:
You're the man Colby! Even getting a link from
Tibbs
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