RECTANGLES!!!!!!

I bought one of the special star-shaped donuts at Dunkin this morning, one with pink frosting and sprinkles. I should've known better. Not because Dunkin Donuts are half-assed shells of their former glory, but because I'm not good at eating stuff that looks like things. Chocolate rabbits? No thanks. Fake Oreos in the shape of elves? Can't do it.

I took one look at this thing and my heart sank. I couldn't eat Patrick T. Starfish. He should be frolicking under the sea with his friend who lives in a pineapple, looking all stoned and talking nonsense. I briefly debated plucking off an arm to see if it would grow back, but I couldn't bring myself to do that either. So I found a flat rock and put him under it where he belongs.

No I didn't. I threw him out. Don't tell the Greenpeace beggar bitch I avoided on my way to Diesel.

Yes, I just wasted your time by telling you all about how much a donut looked like a cartoon character. And the title of this abortion is indeed a quote from said cartoon character that made me laugh like an idiot. I'm stuck on my serious epic and needed to stretch out. Now I'm good and limber.