Beyond Juicy

We've all seen those tiny shorts that say things on the butt section. Girls who shouldn't be wearing something that small and tight really love them, and colleges around the nation have turned the fashion into a legitimate form of advertising.

But you know what? They're kind of boring. I don't need a pair of shorts to tell me you go to Northeastern - I can tell just by looking at you that you're a dumb frat girl. Nor do I need a pair of shorts to tell me you go to Wentworth - that big name construction company didn't hire you because of your construction management skills, they hired you to replace one of their bulldozers. And juicy? Sounds a bit like leakage, which would be a personal problem.

To rectify this fashion faux pas, I Stole Your Lunch is releasing its own line of booty shorts, featuring such clever and interesting lines as:

• Poopdeck.
• If there's more than an eighth of an inch of space between these letters, I'm too fat to be wearing these.
• Future Student of New England Tractor Trailer Training School.
• No Prenup Required.
• My daddy has a yacht - and his will says it's mine.
• 5-time Jeopardy Champion.
• All my lists are bulleted.
• I'm a High Life kind of girl.
• State Beer Pong Champion.
• Down the basement..LOCK...THE...CELLAR..DOOR...and baaaaby...talk dirty to me.
• Proud employee of Wal-Mart incorporated.
• $50 an hour, cash only.
  
• If there's grass on the field...
• Let's drink on my porch.

Coming soon to fine retailers near you, like TJ Maxx and Big K-Mart.