Good Things to Advertise on MySpace

Ah, MySpace...Internet playground for the unwashed masses who aren't cool enough to get their own blogs. You'll not find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

If MySpace was a sport, it would be NASCAR.

If MySpace was a danish, it would be full of raisins.

If MySpace was a celebrity, it would be Kevin Federline.

Therefore, MySpace is not the Best Toaster Ever.

Which means it's ripe for the corporate picking. Who's got something to sell?

Whoa, hold on there, bucko. There are certain things that just don't sell to certain markets, and thus aren't worth advertising to such markets. You wouldn't put a billboard for cufflinks in a trailer park, would you?

Luckily, I am a marketing genius, and I've compiled a list of things that should sell real well on MySpace:

• Dark clothing.
• e-Mullet styling gel.
• Razorblades (remember, kids, you want to go down the road, not across the street).
• Those markers you can get high off of.
• Fake IDs.
• The Idiot's Guide to Writing Horrible Poetry.
• The names, addresses, and phone numbers of all the sixteen year old girls in your neighborhood.
• Home tattooing kits.
• Scott Colby's Official Guide to Keeping a Blog Updated