Vince is my hero

Say what you will about Vince McMahon and his product - but before you do that, name one Chairman of another company who takes as active a role in manufacturing his product as Vince. The man deserves his due.

That said, this week's episode of Monday Night Raw was Vince McMahon Appreciation Night. During the course of this night, superstars past and present gave their thoughts on the boss - and, of course, nobody had anything nice to say.

Fast forward to the end of the program. An obviously disturbed Vince walked past the entire WWE roster without saying so much as a single word to anyone, even the individuals who'd most slandered his name. He climbed into his limousine and closed the door...and the entire thing exploded.

And three million viewers simultaneously said "What the fuck?"

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I read a bit of wrestling analysis on the good old Interweb. Most of this analysis is just random garbage by a bunch of hacks who don't understand proper punctuation and can't stick to one tense. If they're qualified to write about wrestling, so am I.

And I'm going to start by telling each and every one of them that they're wrong about their analysis of Vince's "death."

Every column I've read is examining this storyline as a "murder," but that's incorrect. It was a "suicide."

Look at the timing of the event. The explosion occured at the end of Vince McMahon Appreciation Night, after everyone and their brother had gotten through ripping Vince a new one when they were supposed to be reminiscing about his good qualities.

The point of this, of course, is that Vince is an evil, manipulative bastard. It would fit his character completely to have him fake his own suicide in an attempt to make the entire WWE roster feel like absolute shit about the way they just treated him.

And then he'll show up to laugh in everyone's face, and it will amuse me greatly. Dastardly Vince is good TV.