Sunday's epic confrontation between the Bolts and Gang Green set offensive football back a good twenty-five years. New York's entire game plan can be described as thus:
RUN-RUN-INCOMPLETE PASS-PUNT-HOPE FOR INTERCEPTION IN OPPONENT'S TERRITORY-RUN-RUN-REX RYAN EATS THREE BACON AND LARD PIES-INCOMPLETE PASS-FIELD GOAL-REPEAT
The Chargers, conversely, thought they could win simply by having head coach Norv Turner make constipated faces on the sideline. Somehow, that failed.
Which leads us to this coming Sunday's AFC Championship game between the Jets and the Colts. Normally, I'd pretend that this match up between my two least favorite teams simply didn't exist. But in this case...
...deep breath...
But in this case, I'm going to pull for...
...deep breath...
In this case, I'm going to pull for the Jets. The Colts DESERVE to lose. They're the reason this abortion of a team is in the playoffs in the first place. They completely rolled over at home against New York in Week 16, keeping the Jets' playoff hopes alive. This is their fault, and the Force will see to it that they get what they deserve.
I Stole Your Lunch maintains that going undefeated and winning the Super Bowl is more important than just winning the Super Bowl. Somebody wins the Super Bowl every year; that somebody is then forgotten within a few seasons. But go perfect, and everybody remembers who you were and when you did it. Who won the Super Bowl in 1971? Nobody gives a crap! But everybody knows the Miami Dolphins were perfect in '72.
This will be the only time I will root for the Jets unless they somehow end up playing a team entirely comprised of Mannings. Also, if the Saints fail to beat the Vikings, I'm going to pretend the Super Bowl was cancelled this year due to the field collapsing into a giant singularity of Favrian suck.
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2 comments:
You know what I'm rooting for besides the stadium imploding upon itself? Well, nothing really, that would take care of it all.
Yeah. Okay. I know it's been two weeks now, but I've only just recovered enough blood in my head to sit upright at the computer long enough to type this.
Shit.
Shit shit.
The Jets, who only made it into the post season via some heavy bribes, cosmic alignment, and downright implosion by some of their fellow AFC nightmares, waltz into Qualcomm and face 40 guys who have been pummeled with the stupid stick. I'm pretty sure that same stick was broken over Phillips head.
No excuses. The Chargers did more to damage their credibility in 60 minutes than Ryan Leaf did in three years. Who's going to be afraid of the San Diego in the post season now? 14-2 in 2006? Pffft. 13-2 in 2009? Ooooooh, scary. 3-5 in post season in the past 6 years. Not impressive.
LT is gone. My only hope is that he elects to retire (he wont, but I really hate to see him in any other jersey). No one is going to give him the 5 million he got this year, though.
Give Merriman and Cromartie their walking papers. See-ya.
The only real bright light is Rivers and the Receiving Squad. If I'm a defensive back, knowing those guys are coming to down keeps me up at night.
Never give up I guess. See you next year Chargers.
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