1. San Francisco Giants
I whiffed on them last year. Big time. And I've been mulling over knocking them into second. But then I took a look at the roster of my keeper fantasy baseball team, and who did I see? Buster Posey. Pat the Bat. The Freak and his hash stash. Madison Bumgarner. Brian Wilson. Ladies and germs, I have a Giants fetish, and at the very least I need to keep my various Interweb properties consistent.
Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Amy Adams. Versatile, young, and lacking an obvious weakness.
2. Colorado Rockies
I still love this club despite last year's stumble, though I think I over-valued their rotation, which could use a little help. They'll give the Giants a good run.
Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Kelly Clarkson. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY I LOVE HER ANYWAY.
3. San Diego Padres
Last year's big surprise is severely weakened by the loss of Adrian Gonzalez. There's enough young talent here to keep the Friars spunky.
Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Alyssa Milano. Where did you go? Come back!
4. Los Angeles Dodgers
This is what happens when one of your "best" players is a first baseman who hits a whole 12 bombs per year. Good luck to new manager Don Mattingly, who's going to need it.
Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Chelsea Handler. Hilarious, and there's probably going to be a lot of alcohol and a midget involved.
5. Arizona Diamondbacks
This once-impressive collection of young talent flamed out faster than my regular attempts to keep this blog rolling. Too many strike outs and not enough pitching. How long before we consign Justin Upton to the Elijah Dukes/Lastings Milledge All Star Team?
Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Megan Fox. What the hell happened?
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World Series Pick: Boston over Milwaukee in five. Yes, I'm a homer. Yes, I totally just jinxed them.
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