2011 MLB Preview - National League East

Ah, the National League. Land of the double switch. The way baseball should be played.

And the East! Oh, the East! This division is downright fascinating. You've got an up-and-coming squad built on youth, an aging contender that's still spunky, two very young, very tough to pigeonhole clubs...and then you've got the Mets.

1. Atlanta Braves

For years they've been retooling from within while also managing to stay relevant. This is the year all that work comes to fruition.

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Blake Lively. I had no clue who the hell she was last year. But now...God damn.

2. Philadelphia Phillies (wild card)

Still impressive, but doing very little to get younger. Although Dominic Brown could end up being an improvement over Jayson Werth in right field. Just seems like they have too many injuries every year to find a way to win the division again.

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Jessica Alba. Still attractive...but what have you done for me lately?

3. Florida Marlins

I'm not comfortable picking them this low. The Marlins always win the World Series when it's least expected, and I expect nothing but average from them this year. How many great managers have taken a turn here in the last decade? If only management would actually appreciate one of them, maybe star shortstop Hanley Ramirez would stop acting like a fourteen year-old emo broad who just got dumped by her guitar instructor for her mother.

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Tara Reid. The potential's there, but they just can't keep it together. And their stomach looks like it's had some fucked up work done.

4. Washington Nationals

At least they're trying. They won't regret signing Jayson Werth for at least two years, but they should've tried harder to keep Adam Dunn around. Could be a deep, deep sleeper for the Wild Card.

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Emma Stone. Intriguing and talented, but we'll have to wait and see.

5. New York Mets

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOHGODKRODJUSTSHANKEDME!!!!!

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Christina Hendricks. Because GM Sandy Alderson and manager Terry Collins are a couple of giant boobs if they think this team is going to do shit this year.