Sunday Musings

I've had a bunch of blog ideas rolling around in my head for the past week that never actually made it to the Interweb. I need to get them down before I forget, which is why today's update may appear to be a random coagulation of stupidity. Kind of like MySpace.

ON THE RED SOX
Boston fans around the country are rejoicing that the BoSox have finally missed the playoffs, thus allowing them to return to their natural state of bitchy misery. Hooray!

As is common for anything involving the Sox, this latest implosion has been repeatedly dissected from every possible angle. It's Beckett's fault for sucking in his first year in a new league. It's Theo's fault for not trading the entire farm system for Bobby Abreu. It's Wily Mo's fault for not being Bronson Arroyo. It's Manny's fault for eating all the cupcakes in the clubhouse and then dropping a massive deuce in the Green Monster. Oddly enough, none of the so-called experts have mentioned the real reason for the team's collapse. Remember, for the first half of the season or so, they were rolling right along, looking like they might finally knock the injury depleted Yankees off the AL East throne...and then the Sox hired Allard Baird as an advisor to Theo.

For those who don't know, Mr. Baird was General Manager of the Kansas City Royals for several years before finally getting shitcanned in May of this year. During his tenure as GM, the Royals went 5-9999999, getting swept five times by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and once by an MTV Rock and Jock softball team. He also signed Jose Lima, a pitcher who would be very similar to Pedro Martinez if Pedro had a career ERA of 7.83 and was responsible for all 17 of Alex Gonzalez's career home runs.

This guy's got "Future Wendy's Employee of the Month" written all over him, and yet the Sox still gave him a job. The reasoning at the time apparently was to silence all the critics claiming that Boston's front office was too young and inexperienced. Since all Theo and Co. knew how to do was win, they decided to bring in a guy who's a master at losing. The plan seems to have worked out even better than the Sox brass hoped, especially since Baird appears to have forgotten to scrape off the years of congealed suck before leaving Kansas City.

ON THE PATS
I liked the two tight end offense in the preseason, but now something doesn't look right. Forget all the talk about his body language; Tom Brady has developed a serious case of the Derek Lowe Face. If it becomes permanent, we're about to have a repeat of the Bledsoe years, or...gasp...perhaps even the Hugh Millen/Scott Zolak years.

I can understand the reasoning that wide receivers become slightly less important when you've got two of the league's best pass catching tight ends, and I can definitely understand the team's decision not to deal with selfish assholes who think they're worth more than they actually are. What concerns me most isn't the offense; it's the defense.

Can't we get some corners who don't get hurt? What the hell?

And where's the depth at linebacker? Bruschi, Seau, Vrabel, and Colvin are an excellent starting four... but other than Colvin, they're OLD. They're going to get hurt. And when they do, there isn't going to be anyone worthwhile to stick in there.

And the play calling...

For the majority of the Denver game, New England showed the same basic 3-4 scheme. Obviously, it didn't work, and they didn't make any modifications to the game plan. Against Jake "The Mistake" Plummer, you'd think you'd want to show as many different looks as possible. Maybe mix in a bit more 4-3, or that crazy 1 down lineman 5 linebacker thing. Apparently, however, one defense is good enough.

ON MY BOY SLICK WILLY
Get ready, Billy my boy. More attacks like the one from that douche bag from that stupid news channel are on their way.

But here's the thing. The conservative attack machine isn't actually interested in you. They're interested in Hillary.

Whether it's fair or not, Slick Willy is the single biggest piece of political baggage Hillary's got. He's a bullseye for all of her potential opponents in the upcoming presidential race. Need to make her look bad? Attack her through her husband.

And the best part of that tactic is that she can't distance herself from him. Doing so would hurt her more than anything her opponents could possibly say about Hillary or her husband. If she does anything to separate herself from Bill, she instantly becomes a bad wife who lacks the values and morals to stand by her man - and there are far too many voters out there who think that kind of shit actually matters.

Basically, she's fucked.