2010 MLB Preview - National League Central

The Central is always one of the most entertaining divisions in the bigs and this season should be no different. I admit it: I just flat out love the National League.

1. St. Louis Cardinals

This team flat out knows how to get things done, consistently plugging holes with guys pulled off the scrap heap, given a tune up, and unleashed upon an unsuspecting world. Matt Holliday's big deal meant there was no money for the suddenly revitalized Joel Pineiro, but life goes on in the Lou.

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Sandra Bullock. Consistent, and you can never completely count them out.

2. Cincinnati Reds

Dusty's boys will be this year's big surprise. There's a lot more talent here than most people think. They won't be close to the Cardinals, but they will contend for the Wild Card and squeak past the Cubbies for second.

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Lady Gaga. Coming out of nowhere to great fanfare, but not quite awards material yet despite several nominations.

3. Chicago Cubs

You know you've got problems when your biggest offseason move is trading a malcontent board game magnate for a lard ass with a career ERA bigger than my shoe size. Could be the year Lou Piniella finally kills somebody on the field.

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Katie Holmes. An attractive pick until you remember they're batshit insane.

4. Milwaukee Brewers

It pains me to say this about my adopted NL team...but it's time to blow it up and rebuild. They've got Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder and not much else, mainly because Prince eats just about everybody they sign, which is why they can only employ pitchers that are way past their expiration dates.

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Joan Rivers. Tough and stringy.

5. Houston Astros

I totally had to Google "National League Central teams" because I couldn't remember these guys were even in the division. Even that stupid hill they put against the centerfield fence wasn't enough to keep them in my mind. At least they're not the Pirates.

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Betty White. Definitely not getting any younger, but still hilarious.

6. Pittsburgh Pirates

Ugh. At this point, their only hope is to sell the team to Mark Cuban.

Hollywood Starlet Equivalent: Kate Gosselin. They just keep pumping out losers.