Ahh, October (and lately, November). Every baseball fan's favorite time of year. The field has been whittled down to the best and the brightest, the shitty teams have auctioned off their few passable stars to the highest bidders, and Joe Buck and Tim McCarver are making asses of themselves every night while Orsillo, RemDog, Eck, and TC sit at home placing bets on who's going to win Celebrity Jeopardy.
Wild Card Round
New York over Minnesota in four - This is like handing the little engine that could a squirt gun and telling it to go bring down the Death Star. Their only chance is to hope A-Rod freezes to death during one of the games played in Minnesota.
Texas over Boston in five - Unless the Red Sox trade for Adrian Gonzalez. Which they won't.
Philadelphia over Los Angeles in four - Unless the Phillies bullpen implodes. Which it won't, since they're going to make a trade that nets them a viable backup for what's left of Brad Lidge.
Colorado over The Lou in five - Should be the best series of the first round, if you're willing to stay up all night to watch it.
League Championship Series(es)
New York over Texas in six - Though the Rangers can outhit and out-inspirational-story the Yanks, they can't outpitch them. Rich Harden's arm finally explodes in Game 5.
Philadelphia over Colorado in seven - Keira Knightley vs. Scarlett Johansson in a giant vat of chocolate pudding with Bill Cosby on commentary while hundred dollar bills rain down from the ceiling and free High Life is served in golden chalices. Everybody wins! They should just move everybody to the National League.
World Series
Philadelphia over New York in six - Unimaginative? Perhaps. But these two really are the class of their respective leagues, and Halladay and Polanco are just that much better than Lee and Feliz. Without Matsui, the Yankees are screwed.
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