I Stole Your Black Bean and Rice Surprise

1. Discover heretofore forgotten can of black beans in back of pantry. Examine thoroughly for signs of rodent infestation.
2. Locate black bean and rice recipe printed on side of can. Decide that said recipe sounds like a good idea.
3. Allow shoulders to slump in epic sadness upon realization that required vegetables and Adobobobodobo seasonings are nowhere to be found.
4. Realize that lack of onions and peppers are not a problem due to possession of carrots, celery, and green onions that are just going to go bad in a few days anyway.
5. Chop replacement vegetables and saute in canola oil whilst humming chorus of new Ludacris single (DO NOT MISS THIS STEP).
6. Add beans, 3/4 cup of water, too much garlic powder, quite a bit of Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning, and some oregano. Mix and bring to a boil.
7. Laugh at the can's suggestion to reduce to a simmer, knowing that said simmer will not properly thicken developing sauce. Reinforce status as culinary genius by adding a dash of chili powder and boiling for ten minutes, or until liquid is half gone.
8. Poor into 2 cups instant white rice. Mix thoroughly while humming chorus of new Lil Wayne single.
9. Have both girlfriend and roommate test.
10. ]Let cool for five to ten minutes to see if girlfriend and/or roommate tosses their cookies, rushes to bathroom with explosive diarrhea, or erupts in hives.[
11. Eat, laughing once again at your own culinary genius.
12. Post stupid blog.