Monday, August 29, 2011

2011 AFC Preview

East
1. New England Patriots - Who else? They've improved across the board, except perhaps on the offensive line and the secondary. It looks like they'll actually be able to generate a pass rush with that new 4-3. They might have one of the most underrated stables of running backs in the league with Lawfirm, Woody, and rookie Stevan Ridley. The key for the Pats is whether they've learned to make halftime adjustments. Last year, they didn't even bother.

2. New York Jets - I'd love this team if they played in any other city under any other name, save for one glaring weakness: the Sanchize. Gang Green needs a new quarterback worse than Facebook needs a baby filter. He's a game manager at best. Like babies, game managers all look the same, often have a completely befuddled look on their drooling faces, and tend to stink the joint up at inopportune times.

3. Buffalo Bills - My AFC sleeper if one of the above stumbles. They've got a decent quarterback and an improving defense. Playing a few home games in Toronto under Canadian rules will give them a huge advantage when they get to put twelve guys on the field.

4. Miami Dolphins - Talk about a black hole of suck. Coach Sparano's gone by midseason.

North
1. Pittsburgh Steelers - The absolute cream of the crop in the AFC. I want to hang out with Coach Tomlin.

2. Baltimore Ravens - Not there yet. Ray Lewis needs to wear more Old Spice if he wants to get his club past the Steel Curtain.

3. Cleveland Browns - I can see 7 wins. Maybe 8. Maybe I'm way too high on Colt McCoy and Peyton Hillis. Trusting a couple of goofy looking white guys to carry your team is never a good call.

4. Cincinnati Bengals - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

South
1. Houston Texans - Nope, they're not the Colts.

2. Jacksonville Jaguars - Not the Colts either.

3. Tennessee Titans - Still no Oreos.

4. Indianapolis Colts - That's right, I said it. This is the year they implode. Two words: Kerry Collins. What do they really have other than Manning? Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, and a coach that doesn't blink.

West
1. Oakland Raiders - Despite all the comedy, this is a tough team. Tough teams with good runners and solid defenses win 9 games and occasionally a division.

2. Kansas City Chiefs - Meh. Not sold.

3. San Diego Chargers - Good riddance, Norv. I expect awesome faces from Phillip Rivers this year.

4. Denver Broncos - Just a mess. Too many quarterbacks, not enough of anything else.

Byes: Pittsburgh, New England

Playoffs: Houston, Oakland, New York, Baltimore

Round 1: Houston over Baltimore; New York over Oakland

Round 2: Pittsburgh over New York; New England over Houston

Championship: New England over Pittsburgh

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