2011 NFC Preview

East
1. Philadelphia Eagles - They're loaded. Unfortunately there's a better chance of me waking up on a yacht in the middle of the Mediterranean surrounded by Brazilian supermodels fighting over which of them gets to apply my sunscreen than of Michael Vick playing 16 regular season games. I feel like they've got the depth to survive losing him for 2 or 3 games. More than that, and things get dicey.

2. Dallas Cowboys - Unfortunately for America's Team, the year they finally play up to their potential is also the year they have to deal with having the fucking Juggernaut in their division. Even without Tony Romo, I liked what I saw out of the 'boys under Jason Garrett last season.

3. New York Giants - There's just too much talent in the division for Elisha's crew to make the playoffs. They'll be the best team on the outside looking in.

4. Washington Redskins - Oh, that Rex Grossman! The playoffs? Really? Maybe if you were in the West...and even then it'd be a close race.

North
1. Green Bay Packers - Keep in mind that Green Bay won the Superbowl with approximately 163 starters on the disabled list last season. A deep run toward a perfect season is not out of the question.

2. Detroit Lions - This is the year they finally make it back to the playoffs. They're building this team the right way: along both lines, and then with a stud quarterback. Why any suck ass team spends any money on any other positions is beyond me.

3. Chicago Bears - The new kick off rules will lead to a significant increase in touchbacks, in turn sending Jay Cutler's TAINT total to never before seen heights. I can't wait.

4. Minnesota Vikings - I'm sorry, McNabb. I really am.

South
1. Atlanta Falcons - Solid everywhere, but kind of blah. Twelve wins, little fanfare.

2. New Orleans Saints - Sean Payton is arguably the best coach in the entire league. No one adjusts at halftime like the Saints. The defense is falling apart a little bit, but don't count them out with a healthy Pierre Thomas complemented by Mark Ingram.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Love this squad, but not more than I love the Saints and the Durrrty Birds. Freeman and Blount will lead the Buccos to the post-season for years to come-starting next year.

4. Carolina Panthers - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

West
1. St. Louis Rams - Love the way they're building this team. In any other division they'd still be a year away, but the West sucks. The Toronto Blue Jays could win this shit show.

2. Arizona Cardinals - Sketchy on both lines. No running game or defense to speak of. Good luck, Kevin Kolb.

3. Seattle Seahawks - Pete Carroll, you deserve Tarvaris Jackson.

4. San Francisco 49ers - Just blow it up, get what you can for Patrick Willis, and start over all ready.

Byes: Philadelphia, Green Bay

Playoffs: Atlanta, The Lou, Dallas, Detroit

First Round: Atlanta over Detroit; Dallas over the Lou

Second Round: Philadelphia over Dallas; Green Bay over Atlanta

Championship: Philadelphia over Green Bay

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Super Bowl: New England over Philadelphia
I can picture it now: the Pats are up by 3 with 1:30 to play, and the Eagles are driving...and then they stall out because Andy Reid blew all his timeouts on stupid challenges. Next season, Philly introduces the world's first Clock Management Coordinator.