On HTML5

Standards bodies and web browser developers have had their collective knickers in a twist over the specifications of a new version of the basic language of the web, HTML5, for the last several months. This new standard promises a richer multimedia experience without the need for 18,000 ridiculous plug-ins. Lovely.

Except it's missing something. Something very important. Something that will change the web forever. Here's an example of its use:

{lil jon}"Yeah!"{/lil jon}

Note: I'm using { because Blogger discards tags with the proper doohickeys on either side. I can't eve put one of those doohickeys here. You know what I'm talking about. Do not threaten to revoke my geek card, or call my mama, or ice me. Just shut up and play along.

Bring the King of Crunk to your web page! It's like GeoCities sound effects except better, and unlike Adobe Flash it isn't for posers and thus it will work on your iDevice. Further examples include:

Please measure {lil jon}to the windoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow{/lil jon} and {lil jon}to the wall{/lil jon}.

I love shooting clay pigeons. {lil jon}Aw skeet skeet God damn.{/lil jon}

{lil jon}Pardon me, would you pass the Grey Poupon?{/lil jon}

Developers have been working night and day to add to the HTML5 spec, to the detriment of these other tags which we have been promised for HTML6:

• {autotune}I'm on a boat!{/autotune}
• {rmwaso}I'm on a boat!{/rmwaso} (Repetitive Meme We're All Sick Of)
• {jr}Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!{/jr}
• {sooooooooooooooooooookie}{/soooooooooooooooooooookie}